What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
Two years back, I was to catch a train from Hazrat Nizamuddin to Mumbai. I, with my Dad, reached the station 1 hour before the arrival of the train. So we had 1 hour to kill before we could board the train, and we headed towards the waiting room.
I took a seat beside a girl. With brown hair and a foreign accent, she was with a guy.
I turned and asked her, “Where are you from?”
“What?” she asked back, raising her eyebrows.
“Where are you from, your nationality,” I elaborated.
“Spain,” she said with a smile, turning her stance towards me.
“Great. What’s your name?”
“Monica. And yours?”
“Akash Patwal,” I said, trying to pronounce my name as clearly as possible.
“Akish Put…?” she repeated my name inarticulately.
“Aa….kaaash Pat…wal,” I said, breaking my name into four syllables.
“Aakaash Putwal,” she repeated.
She was still struggling with my surname, but she got my first name right.
By this time, the guy also turned his attention towards us chit-chatting.
“This must be your first time here?” I asked.
“Yes, yes. This is our first time,” she said.
“Are you liking it here?” I asked. ( अतिथिदेवो भव: sentiment erupting inside me)
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
“Yes, we like the people here; the places are awesome. We are arriving from Rajasthan, and now we are heading to Himachal. We are here for more than two weeks. Any places you want to recommend?” she asked.
I was appalled by how she, despite being in a foreign land, quickly divulged so much of her plan.
“Considering you have two more weeks, you can explore many places. You can go South. Places like Hampi, Kochi, Tirupati, Munnar, Hyderabad are beautiful,” I said.
She removed her cell phone and asked me to show the places on the map. I did a simple Google search and located the places on the map.
“Where are you working?” she asked.
“I am still studying,” I said.
“What?”
“B.A. in Mass Communications,” I said.
“What subjects do you have?”
” English, social sciences and film-making,”
“Film-making! It must be fun,” she said.
“Yes, it is fun. We get to learn different aspects of film-making,” I said.
“Do you want to act in films?” she asked.
“No, no. I don’t wish to act. I want to write and direct movies,” I said, self-assured.
“You should act. You are a handsome boy,” she said.
“Thank you, but I don’t think I can act,” I said, blushing as fcuk.
“Have you seen any Hindi movie?” I asked, trying to hide my red face.
“I have seen Slumdog Millionaire,” she replied.
“Do you know any actors from India?” I asked further.
“I know Hrithik Ross,” she said.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
I didn’t bother correcting her this time. The correct name is Roshan, not Ross
The guy who was with the girl was silently listening to our conversation all this while.
“What work do you do in Spain?” I asked him.
“I am an engineer. We both are. We work together in Madrid,” he said.
“You must be a Real Madrid fan,” I said with a grin.
“NO! I follow Barca,” he said as though I had accused him of treason.
“I am a Barca fan too. I’ve been following the club for the past 4 years,” I said.
“Luis Enrique is doing a good job with the team,” I added.
“I don’t agree with you on that. Messi is not improving under him. The team is not in good shape,” he said.
I nodded.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
“I forgot to ask, what’s your name?” I asked.
“Pablo,” he replied.
He then took out the ticket for the train he and Monica were to catch.
“We can’t understand which coach number we are supposed to board. I think there is a misprint here,” he said.
I took the ticket. The number printed needed to be clarified. I passed on the ticket to my father, who is a railway employee himself. He made a call to the control room. He gave the official the PNR number and confirmed the coach as A1.
I informed them the same.
Both thanked my father.
We shook hands. The train they were supposed to catch arrived, and we bid farewell.
We exchanged e-mail IDs before leaving.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
I am 26 years old and an air hostess…
This incident took me over 3 weeks ago.
It was our regular day.
Our airline gives us tight clothes to put on our bodies, so sometimes it isn’t very comfortable.
As soon as our plane took off, we started our services. One boy around 25–26 years old started staring at me, and I thought he would be a desperate pervert.
He was constantly peeping for a space to talk to me, and I was trying to avoid him. The flight was from Chennai to Ahmadabad.
After 45 min of the journey, he came to me.
Him-Excuses mam.
How can I help you? (Inside me, I will roll your eyes out.)
Him-Promise me you will not slap me (In a humorous tone)
Me-Go Ahead (Inside me, But I will kick you)
Him-Look dear, you are like my sister, and I do not want to embarrass you, but while you are serving! Few people usually give a weird smile to each other when you bend to serve because your shirt has just been popping out from fitting.
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What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
I really wanted to tell you and was looking for some space to talk to you from the very beginning, but you were busy.
I hope you will not mind my suggestion, and have a blessed life.
Me-Inside (what a man)? Where are you going.?
Him-I- I am going to my home, Ahmadabad.
As soon as I was about to ask his name, my crew member came and disturbed our conversation. He grabbed his seat, and I always needed more time to talk.
I really fall for him; I have never found such kind of people.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
What is the most interesting conversation that you have had with a stranger?
I was standing in Fry’s Electronics about ten years ago, looking at Sling Media Slingboxes.
“What do the things do?”
I turned around and saw a little guy behind me. He had that look that told me that he was old but had been ridden hard by life on top of that. I explained what a Slingbox was.
“Like one of those cable boxes?”
I then explained that they were both used to watching television but that they did things pretty differently.
“I had that guy over to put in the cable. I asked him if I could pay a little extra for one of those unlocked ones, but he said they didn’t do that no more.”
We chatted for a bit about how the cable companies were much better at tracking down people stealing cable and how cable boxes had changed quite a bit. I ended with, “So… yeah… you don’t want to wind up doing federal time.”
He looked me in the eye and said, “Psssh. I can do federal time standing on my head.”
What then happened was perhaps the most interesting conversation I will ever have. This guy had robbed banks when he was younger. “I did all that stupid shit like jumping over a counter with a shotgun, threatenin’ people, the works.”
He’d been in a few federal prisons. He also explained to me that federal prisons were the best since they’re usually because of finances, fraud, drugs, etc. Not too much in the way of rapes, murders, etc. I think I stood there, engrossed in this conversation for about a half hour in the middle of an electronics store.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
Mind you, and I didn’t just trust that any of this is true. Mrs. Kaplan didn’t raise any fools. There is every possibility that this guy was some lonely guy who wanted to talk to someone, so he made up a whole life out of television shows he had watched.
The next day, I brought this up in class. I used it as an example of how to cite a conversation in an essay. During the last period, after getting through a basic description of the guy without getting to the discussion of prison, one of my students raised her hand.
“Was he about this tall, white hair, plaid shirt, raspy voice?” Yeah. “Oh. That’s my grandfather.” Did he really do time? “Oh yeah. He robbed a bunch of banks.”
Sacramento is a small town.
What is the most interesting conversation you have had with a random stranger?
One fine evening, I reached my gym and found a gorgeous girl running on a treadmill. I noticed that her employer’s name (Deloitte) was written on the back of her t-shirt. It is similar to the one below (for representation purposes only).
Since I was working with a Big 4, this prompted me to start a conversation (I was not hitting on her; I just wanted to start a casual chat).
I joined her on the parallel treadmill, and our conversation went like this:
Me: Hey, you work with Deloitte.?
She: hey, yes. You read my T-shirt.?
Me: Yes. By the way, I am Ankur, and I work with KPMG. So you are in Advisory or Audit.?
She: I am in the Audit function. You work in Gurgaon.?
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
Me: Yep.. So, are you a CA?
She: No, no, I am a commerce graduate from DU.
Me: OK, which year.?
She: (She paused for a moment and then replied) I am 26.
Boom.. There was a brief silence for a while; someone outsmarted me and read my mind (probably I wanted to know it subconsciously, just I was not asking it directly).
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I took a moment, composed myself and said: no, no, I just wanted to inquire about your job level.
She: oh, that’s ok, I am a senior associate.
But the damage was already done. We both were chuckling, and I was a bit face-palm. Didn’t ask any further questions.
Power to women.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
What is the most interesting conversation you have had with a random stranger?
One fine evening, I reached my gym and found a gorgeous girl running on a treadmill. I noticed that her employer’s name (Deloitte) was written on the back of her t-shirt. It is similar to the one below (for representation purposes only).
Since I was working with a Big 4, this prompted me to start a conversation (I was not hitting on her; I just wanted to start a casual chat).
I joined her on the parallel treadmill, and our conversation went like this:
Me: Hey, you work with Deloitte.?
She: hey, yes. You read my T-shirt.?
Me: Yes. By the way, I am Ankur, and I work with KPMG. So you are in Advisory or Audit.?
She: I am in the Audit function. You work in Gurgaon.?
Me: Yep.. So, are you a CA?
She: No, no, I am a commerce graduate from DU.
Me: OK, which year.?
She: (She paused for a moment and then replied) I am 26.
Boom.. There was a brief silence for a while; someone outsmarted me and read my mind (probably I wanted to know it subconsciously, just I was not asking it directly).
I took a moment, composed myself and said: no, no, I just wanted to inquire about your job level.
She: oh, that’s ok, I am a senior associate.
But the damage was already done. We both were chuckling, and I was a bit face-palm. Didn’t ask any further questions.
Power to women.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
What are your tricks to start a conversation with a stranger?
Earlier, to be able to strike up a conversation with anyone, and I should have fascinating stories to tell, I should be well-read, I should be charismatic and funny. In short, I should be James Bond or someone like him.
However, recently, I discovered the secrets to a good conversation.
Last week, I read this book, The Charisma Myth, and it had some really interesting insights to offer.
The secret to a good conversation is not you. It is the person you are talking to. Don’t try to sell your own stories; ask them theirs. Asking open-ended questions like: “So tell me what’s your story…” or “What is your opinion on…” can really get them talking.
Research suggests that humans can detect disinterest/distraction in just 17 milliseconds! So, just getting the other person to talk does not wrap it up. You have to portray that you are interested in whatever they have to say.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
Body language and eye contact play an important role in this. Being a good listener takes you a few notches up in any conversation. Avoid excessive nodding and time your umms and hmm’s well. Pauses are important, too!
Sometimes, mirroring body language (with subtleness, of course) can make the other person connect to you. The other person feels more comfortable talking to someone who is like them.
So, to recapitulate:
- Make the other person the subject of the conversation.
- Ask open-ended questions
- Give them all your attention(remember, 17 milliseconds is all you have)
- Be an active listener, avoid excessive nodding and time your umms and hmm’s properly.
- Always keep the ball in their court; people love talking about themselves.
- Mirror body language(be subtle), make them feel you are one of their own
- Express opinions and facts can be boring.
- Humour gives you multiple lives in the game of conversation.
- Appreciate people whenever possible (the world is full of underappreciated people) without trying to suck up to them or sounding obsequious
I am far away from mastering the art of conversation, but I have improved a lot following these techniques.
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How do you approach and talk to someone you don’t know?
I have a standard approach. I walk up to them and say, “Hi. I don’t think I’ve met you yet. My name’s Eric. What’s yours?” Then I might say, “May I sit down and talk to you for a bit?”
I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to figure that out. It isn’t something that occurs to a lot of people. Some of the answers here seem to be about coming up with a suitable, harmless-sounding alibi or excuse for wanting to talk to people.
Really, though, this is silly. We are members of a social species. We like to talk to each other. It’s fun. We do it. It’s harmless. It doesn’t require an excuse.
The idea that this is somehow bad or threatening by default and that there’s an onus to make it somehow less threatening is a load of dingoes’ kidneys promulgated by insecure people who want to make others unhappy so that they can be smug.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
How can I start a conversation with a stranger? I want to improve my networking skills
Remember these three things:
Dogs, Cars, Shoes.
If the stranger is with their dog, it’s like they’re asking someone to talk to them. Compliment their dog. Ask them what kind it is. Get them to talk about their dog. People love talking about their dogs.
If the stranger is in or near their car, talk about the car.
Compliment it first. Ask them what kind it is. Tell them you’re thinking about buying one like it. Tell them your parents had one like it. It’s okay to lie. They aren’t going to check your story.
If the person is wearing shoes, compliment their shoes. Ask them where they got them. Tell them about someone you know who has a similar pair and how you always thought they were nice.
If, perchance, you meet some stranger who is walking barefoot and has no dog, you’re just out of luck.
What is your favourite ice breaker to get a conversation started?
If I am at a dinner party seated next to someone I don’t know, I turn around and say, “Hello. Tell me everything.”
Typically, the other person replies with something along the lines of “Whoa, everything!?”
To which I say, “Yes. I have time.”
Benefits:
I don’t have to talk very much after that.
It cuts right through any possibility of small talk.
Do you know where you’d start if someone invited you to tell them everything? I am usually fascinated by what the person chooses to tell a stranger about.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
How does one “chat it up” with strangers you meet everywhere?
I literally ask myself, “What would my mother do?” My mom is the most genuinely extroverted person I have ever met. She loves people and loves to talk about them, to them, with them.
I’m pretty much not that. But I use situations like the one you suggest as practice.
So, first, I will address the situation we’re in – we have that in common. Slow elevators, or the weather. Something general, not personal. Something we share.
If they seem interesting, I might ask them about themselves. What are you going to /place/ for? The train is a good place to practice this. I’ve met some really interesting people that way. If they ask back, I will tell them, and since I am almost always going somewhere to something, it’s usually a good story.
Then, let it go. Stop talking. Give space to the person and go your way with a cheerful farewell.
The last time I was coming home on the train, I met Hannah, a very intelligent 10-year-old. She and I talked about Pokemon Go! and I named the Baltoy she caught after her, and she named one of my Unowns “Questionair”. She asked if we’d ever see each other again, and I said, “Probably not, but you never know”, and waved as she and her Dad left the train.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
Conclusion
I was already late to a party, and my Uber driver arrived in an Audi Q5
Me: That’s a pretty nice car
He: yea, it is and costs a fortune, because of which I am doing a second job to pay off the debt. By the way, I am a recruiter at XYZ company.
Me: Oh, that’s great! I am a pricing analyst at ABC.
He: That’s awesome. We need lots of people like you. Why don’t you join my company?
Me: I am good at my job.
He: It was great driving you and hands over his business card.
After a few days, one of my friends asked me if there were any positions available in my company for her boyfriend. I handed over the business card to her. And my friend’s boyfriend gets placed in XYZ.
I make sure I speak to every Uber driver I ride with. There are so many interesting people whom you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?